I have been saying over and over since I had children that I would not send them to public schools. I enjoyed the early years during my time in school, but when I got to middle and high school, things changed. I seen things I shouldn't have seen, I heard things I shouldn't have heard, and I never felt "comfortable" around most of my peers. I knew I wanted to be different than "they" were. So once I became a parent I vowed that my children would not attend public school because I felt the need to protect them. I still feel the need to protect them.
After all of this talk and swearing they would never step foot in public schools, I called the office to see how to enroll Lincoln in Preschool at our local elementary school, back in March. I was feeling "mommy guilt" that I would be holding him back from a great opportunity to learn new things and the social aspect of it. I later found out I was pregnant and backed away from sending him, because I didn't want to send my son to school, get sick, and bring that illness home to Kenadie and a newborn. So I didn't sign him up.
I wrote this post about Lincoln and his recent behavior change and just didn't know what I was supposed to do. I sought out advice (thanks Kim!), prayed, cried, and even gave up all hope for a period of time. My sweet little boy that I once knew wasn't there anymore. He completely changed! It was heartbreaking!
Everyone on social media kept posting sweet pictures and talking about the new school year. Several of my friends who have children same age as Lincoln were sending their child to Pre-K4 and here I was holding Lincoln back. At first it didn't bother me, because I felt like I was doing the best thing for my family. I had plans of doing "homeschool" here and teaching Lincoln as much as I possibly could, but it seemed like every time I would ask Lincoln if he wanted to work on certain things he would say, "no!" and I got discouraged. He didn't want me to teach him or work with him on anything.
I asked my mom to babysit one evening so I could run out to do a little shopping. I wasn't gone but maybe 2 hours and when I returned, my mom told me that Lincoln had been bad. He was being a little smarty mouth and just plain being mean. He was even being mean and rude when I was having him and Kenadie pick up their toys so we could go home. I had had enough! I corrected him once we got home, but felt like this was not enough. I knew there was something I was missing, something I wasn't doing to help him.
That's when I seen more and more pictures of kids his age going to Preschool and suddenly the light-bulb went off. I knew right then this was what was missing. He needs this chance to be away from me, learn new things, make new friends, and get outside of the home more.
So Monday morning I called the same office again about signing him up and made an appointment to sign the papers and get this rolling. I have peace about sending him and I am so excited!
We go tomorrow afternoon to meet his teacher and then we should start on Monday. I don't know if this is "the fix" for his behavior, but I have a good feeling it will help. I am so excited for him!